reflection

When I'm out and about living life (working, socialising, doing), I feel great. I would say I'm a genuinely happy person. But sometimes I stop and reflect, think about a past incident or look at a photo, and I tend to focus on the negatives. It makes me feel awful.

Most recently I felt like this when I looked at a photo I was in. Not an old photo, a recent one. I looked overweight, pasty and unattractive. In an instant my whole perception of myself changed. I wasn't thinking about the great time I was having when the photo was taken. I wasn't thinking about the fantastic friends I shared that moment with. All I saw in that photo were things about myself that I dislike.

As already mentioned, I think I'm a fairly happy person and I do like myself. So why do these moments of reflection send me into a downward spiral of mental self-flagellation?

While I have no idea if this thought process will ever change - it would be nice to look at a photo and appreciate my qualities rather than judge my appearance - I am going to try my darndest to make that girl in the picture better.

- Dani