a weighty issue

I always get sucked into reading people's comments on news articles, I just can't help it. Often these opinions make we squirm in my chair. "How can people think like this?" I wonder. But I never do anything about it.

Today is different though, today I want to share my opinion.

James Adonis' article in The Age delves into the impact of our ever increasing waistlines on workplaces, based on a report by Deloitte.

But it's not the article I want to respond to, it's the comments. As with any article about obesity there tend to be two major types of responders:

• The fatty-haters that seem to think fat people are lazy, stupid and disgusting
• The fatty-sympathisers that often make excuses for our current trend of constant expansion

Obviously there are responses that don't fit into these two categories, but you get the gist.

Now I'm not going to make excuses about being fat. Yes, sometimes working a 12-14 hour day does stop me from exercising. Yes, sometimes the unhealthy food in the office kitchen does tempt me. But it is my choice to do this job, if I wanted a job that was more flexible or demanded fewer hours, I could probably find one. And no one forces a Freddo into my mouth, I make the choice to eat it. (Although an office fruit bowl could offer a sweet alternative - hint hint.)

But... contrary to popular belief, not all fat people are stupid or uneducated or "unable to be educated". And some of us are well aware that 1kg of broccoli costs less than a bucket of KFC. And! Can you really generalise that a fat person is lazy purely because they are fat?

I am not proud of the situation I am in with my weight, but I am proud of almost everything else about my life. My weight is only one factor that determines who I am. Being 88kg and 164cm, I am technically obese, but I am also much more than that.

There are three big things the "fatty-haters" keep bringing to the forum that really bothers me.
1. Fat people are disgusting
2. Fat people are lazy
3. Fat people are stupid

Firstly, if you are disgusted by fat people, it is you who has a problem not the fat person. You can be concerned about the health and well-being of a fat person, though that can seem condescending, but you shouldn't be disgusted by them. Being disgusted by fat people (or disabled people or people with physical abnormalities) is completely superficial. So as I said before, you are the problem not the fat person.

Also, why do you let it bother you? I personally don't like tattoos and I think a lot of people will regret them in the future, but I am not disgusted by someone because they have chosen to ink their body.

But there are disgusting people out there. Do you know who is disgusting? Men who treat women like a punching bag. Paedophiles. And Collingwood supporters - ok that one is a joke. But you get the point. People should be judged by their actions, not their looks.

Now I can see why people might assume that fat people are lazy, but let's be honest, it is all about priorities. If I am hungry and there is no food in the house, I am not a lazy person, I am a determined person who is going to leave the house to get food.

You couldn't even generalise that all fat people are physically lazy, as there are an abundance of fatties out there that are more active than their thinner counterparts. So it really does come down to balance and priorities. At some point a fat person has ingested more energy-laden food than they have burned, and they haven't done the reverse.

Ah, now the last point is the toughest one for me personally, because a little part of me thinks that I am stupid. (Yes stupid, but not uneducated or unintelligent). Because I have all the knowledge I need to lose weight. In fact, I had this knowledge before I gained the weight. But I have continued behavioural patterns that encourage weight gain. (It does seem a little stupid.)

So this issue doesn't seem to be about smarts so much as it is about capability. Knowledge is only half the battle, you need this willpower to put it all into practice.

Lastly, I know that a lot of these commenters' views are often based on prejudice but there is also some truth to them. Some fat people are lazy and some might be stupid. The same could be said of nearly any subsection of the population. And the statistics might even support these views. But how is that going to help anyone?

So, to the all the fatty-haters and concerned friends/family, thank you for noticing us but your criticism is not very helpful. Here are some suggestions to turn your negative views and concerned thoughts into useful actions.

• Dine together at restaurants or cafes with predominantly healthy options
• Instead of catching up over coffee suggest a walk in the Botanical Gardens
• Don't focus on physical attributes - yours, theirs or anyone else's (we all need to feel more comfortable in our bodies - one of the biggest issues I deal with is constantly feeling uncomfortable in my body, especially during exercise - our bodies are amazing and useful (no matter their size) and should be treated as such)
• Start a social sport team and ask all your friends to join
• Be less obvious - this applies to both disgust and concern - constantly telling someone how concerned you are about their weight really doesn't help
• Focus on the positives - we all have skills and talents, and these should be recognised

Please note that I think people should strive to maintain a healthy body and that being fat shouldn't be considered the 'norm'. But there are plenty of things worse than being fat - let's get some perspective people.

- Dani

post 12wbt

It's over. While I'm partially relieved, I also feel hesitant about being 'cut off' from the 12wbt site/world.

Has my body transformed? Not really, well not much, but it has been a step in the right direction.

Some of the recipes were fantastic and it was nice having workouts planned by someone else, but I'm loving my new 'independence'.

Since the end of round 4 of 12wbt, I've been regularly running along the beach - though the weather really isn't making it easy - I'm loving healthy food and I'm keen to experiment a bit more in the kitchen.

After a recent conversation with friends, I'm also considering training for a mini triathlon. I'm a terrible swimmer, so I don't know if I will actually compete any time in the future. But being fit enough to do a triathlon definitely seems to be a motivating factor at the moment.

Basically, life is pretty great. I'm exercising, I'm eating well and I feel really happy.

Now that I'm not focused on the 12wbt, this blog is going evolve slightly. I'm hoping to share more recipes, discuss topics of interest, provide general updates about my life, etc. But my weight loss and transformation journey is far from over, so this will still be a recurring topic.

Looking forward to having this body again

- Dani

everything is falling into place

The last few weeks have been fantastic. I am feeling healthy, happy and almost fit. It is hard to describe how wonderful this feeling is. Furthermore, the bonds with my family and boyfriend have strengthened. My work is constantly challenging and encouraging me. To be honest, life couldn't get much better.

This transformation started after I realised how unbalanced my life was. I'd put on a bit more weight and I was working some pretty long hours at the time. Then I had the thought "If I'm prepared to work this hard in one area of my life, why don't I put in half as much effort into other areas of my life?". At this point, I decided to join the Michelle Bridges 12 week transformation and thus my journey began.

It certainly hasn't been a smooth journey. There have been good weeks and bad weeks. Positive moments and moments of sheer hopelessness. I can honestly say that acknowledging my situation, trying to move beyond my weaknesses and flaws, has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.

People often make excuses because they don't want to take accountability for their actions (or in-action). But I didn't just make excuses, I didn't care. By not caring, I was happy, but my body wasn't.

This body is the only one I've got and I'm going to have it my whole life. And I have treated it so poorly.

When I realised this and realised the behavioural issues ingrained in me that perpetuate this mistreatment, I felt totally shattered. Here I was thinking that I am a capable, dedicated, smart individual, but I couldn't do something as simple as keep my body in good shape. Needless to say, this self-reflection resulted in a lot of tears.

Out of the tears and reflection came something wonderful - knowledge and resolve. I was learning, learning about myself, learning about what I needed to do to get out of this situation. Now by no means am I now a guru on health and fitness, my mind still craves all sorts of things when I know I'd actually prefer something else, but I am better. And I will never stop learning, nor will I want to go through that process again.

Now I'm under 80kg, a milestone I thought I'd reach weeks ago, but I am thrilled regardless. My body shape is different and I am loving it. My attitude has changed, and is continuing to change. Everything has well and truly fallen into place.

This brings me to the main point of this post, and it is a point I'm sure I will need to tell myself time and time again. I also hope it might help just one other person out there.

Don't give up.

Every small improvement you make, even if it isn't a permanent one, will help you. Every over-indulgent snack you turn down, every extra step you take. All of it is worth it. And this applies to anything you want to achieve in life. It might not be the fastest way to reach your goals, but you will make progress.

In a previous post, when I was in struggle-town, I wrote this -

I might be able to make this transformation step-by-fricken-tiny-step. But I have to keep trying. Because even though I'm no where near my goals, I am closer than when I started. I might never have a light bulb moment, but I never want to give up.

And it is so true. I think that this realisation really helped to turn things around for me. I stopped focusing on achieving the perfect transformation, stopped comparing myself to other 12wbters with phenomenal will-power.

So yes, there are crazy, amazing, inspiring people out there who can lose 20kg in 3 months or transition from being a couch potato to a marathon runner. But the people who get on with their lives and make small changes every day, those people are inspiring too.

- Dani

thank you

Work is over for the year. Family shenanigans in Singapore are well underway. 2013 is just around the corner.

But what a year it has been! 2012 has been a year of progress for me. I have made changes to improve the balance in my life. Health and fitness are now firm priorities. Work has been challenging and rewarding, and I'm loving it. My wonderful boyfriend and I moved in together. I have been fortunate enough to travel domestically and internationally. (But I certainly wouldn't complain about the opportunity to travel more.) In all honesty, I have had a fantastic year. There are still so many things I need to work on, but I'm sure I will never stop striving to better myself.

Lately the topics of honesty and openness have been bandied around. While I can be known to keep my cards close, I believe that I am honest and open when appropriately engaged. This year I have shared my thoughts, feelings and experiences through two blogs - openly and honestly. Writing about my struggles with weight loss has been a truly difficult, occasionally frustrating, but overall thought provoking experience.

The support I have received from people in the 12wbt, blog and instagram community has been overwhelming. I cannot thank you all enough. Every comment, like, response, hug, pat on the back has been cherished.

Thank you!

And have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

- Dani

back on my bike

As a 12wbter, I had a fairly catastrophic week last week. But as a social, fun-loving, twenty-something, I had a fantastic (albeit exhausting) week.

Having abandoned my entire exercise routine for the week, I decided that it was better to get active than dwell on my failures. So I got active!

Dan and I went for a 2 hour bike ride on Sunday afternoon, and discovered a few places in Melbourne I never knew existed.

Princes Pier, Port Melbourne

Under the West Gate Bridge

Near Westgate park

I'm not thrilled that I was so undisciplined last week - it is something that I really need to work on. But I feel less guilty than I have in the past, so I think my mindset is improving. I am learning more about myself, the health/exercise/life balance that suits me and what keeps me motivated (and on-track).

Frivolity is great, but it is just one piece of the complex puzzle that is my crazy, slowly-transforming life. So I plan on being a very obedient 12wbter this week.

- Dani

red flag week

I've been feeling a little less social over the past few weeks. I am completely unable to rein myself in when eating and drinking out with friends, so it has been best to avoid those situation. But I can't go on like that forever.

This week I am out almost every night with birthday dinners, comedy nights, cocktail functions, the races, etc. It is a busy time of year and I know that I am failing to stick to the 12wbt plan. I didn't workout on Monday or Tuesday (but I did go for a lunchtime walk) and my diet has been far from ideal.

I know I'm supposed to suck it up, get up early and JFDI. But after a late night, it just doesn't happen. And to be honest, I'm not keen on depriving myself of sleep in order to exercise in the morning. Yes, I can try to get home earlier - but it's not happening this week.

While I am exercising when I can and watching what I eat as much as possible, in these situations I am completely weak - I know this. I ate birthday cake on Monday and I can't imagine not doing that. People have birthdays and people eat cake - I don't want to miss out on these things.

At home I seem able (most of the time) to be the mature adult that understands that I can't have everything I want. When I'm out though, it's all 'I want, I want, I want', and the mature adult doesn't even seem to be in the room.

If willpower really is a muscle, then I'd like to know how I can train it before I am in those situations. Because at the moment, I am feeling horrible, eating out, drinking and not exercising (even though it hasn't really affected my weight loss - which is even more annoying). Eating out is inevitable but I should be able to choose the healthiest option on the menu, say no say to that glass of wine with dinner and get up early the next morning to exercise. Shouldn't I? But I can't imagine ever not wanting the wine, not wanting the creamy risotto, not wanting to sleep in. And when I do say no to those things I tend to get a bit sulky and I don't enjoy the moment as much. (If you haven't guessed by now, I really hate being told I can't have something.)

There must be a balance between living a healthy, active life and engaging in 'normal' activities like eating out and having birthday cake. And I guess the answer is moderation. But as an overweight person, does moderation not apply to some things?

Basically I am feeling pretty weak and pathetic right now. My lack of willpower has been a huge barrier for me over the past few years, but I really thought that this time I was going to break through...

- Dani

weekend snippets

What a weekend! It wasn't jam packed, but it had some great moments.

Friday night 

A nice drop of red, lovely food and time spent with Dan. Ah bliss! But I didn't want to ruin my first group training session, so after my second glass of wine (yes, I had two and I don't regret it) I hit the hay.

Saturday

I joined some lovely Inner Melb 12wbters for an early group Super Saturday Session, which was supposed to be a skipping pyramid, but due to a couple of injuries was mostly a step-up pyramid. These ladies are definitely fitter than me, but it was good to be pushed (and not fall flat on my face).

We were out there for two hours and by the time I got home and organised breakfast I couldn't believe that the morning was nearly over. 

Post-SSS brekky

Having achieved so much in the morning I was in a pro-active mood. A few domestic chores later, I got started on a let's-jazz-up-the-apartment mini project.

I've been experimenting with herbs in the house lately, but we use herbs so often that the plants don't live long. So I decided I need herbs AND other plants, etc, to bring a little greenery inside, and what better plant to use than the also practical Aloe Vera.

This little creation now lives in the bathroom and I'm looking forward to adding a few extra touches to the rest of the apartment. This spring vibe is making me wanting to add a splash of colour to everything!

By this stage I was famished so I snacked on soy crisps and peanut butter sandwiches... which I wholeheartedly regret. Not because they were unhealthy or that I ate too much (neither of which is true), but because after such an action packed morning I should have organised a proper meal. Being hungry and eating whatever is around in the house is a habit I really want to break.

Exhaustion was well and truly taking over, so after a cheeky nap, we ventured out for a movie night. 

Lawless - it was pretty good

Sunday

I dosed up on water, had a small breakfast and headed to the Red Cross Blood Bank donor centre. But my blood wasn't in the mood to play nice (my flow rate was ridiculously low), so I had a few lovely nurses constantly checking up on me. One practically had to hold my hand to get my flow rate up.

Post-donation milkshake

The sun was shining so we headed to Mornington for a late lunch. We basked in the sunshine eating divine food at DOC. Sigh. It almost felt like I was on holiday.

Alas, I'm not on holiday, but at least we got to enjoy a beautiful sunset as we drove back to the city.

- Dani

catching flies with honey

I gained 500 grams this week and I couldn't be happier.

The first 5 weeks of this 12wbt have not been easy for me. I found myself constantly stressing about diet and exercise. It felt like my home life revolved around the kitchen and the gym. And, dare I say it, I missed my couch. I would love to be a shiny, happy person that wants to squeeze activity into every moment of their life, but... I enjoy settling on the couch to watch a good movie. (Who doesn't?)

I was also constantly disappointed in myself for not following the 12wbt plans to the letter and on Sunday, I realised that I was tense and unhappy - and that something needed to change.

Sad Panda

So, thinking about my original goal - to find balance - I tried to gain some perspective.

I realised that I have my own choices to blame. Choosing to exercise after work limits my time in the evening to cook, clean, relax, etc. Also, the 12wbt is a tool that I'm using to improve my life, not a rule book, so it shouldn't stress me out. And most importantly, I want to change my life forever! So I need to find what works for me.

Since I had this realisation, I've changed my mindset and I'm actually choosing to spend more time in the kitchen and more time exercising. Even when I've had the option to enjoy some couch time, I've gone for a bike ride instead.

Gettin' some air

I'm feeling more motivated to change my life than ever before. If my joints are sore, the sun is shining and I choose to walk home from work instead of hitting the gym, I know I'll make up for it later in the week. I can eat non-12wbt approved meals, but I need to be mindful of my calorie intake and the nutrients my body needs. (I'm working on some healthy recipes right now!)

Nuts-for-lemon balls (I adapted my nuts-for-lemon bars recipe)

I would be lying if I didn't admit that I do need more discipline (I guess that's why I'm in this position in the first place), but stressing out and feeling despondent is never going to help me reach my goals. So now variation and substitution are friends not foes, and my focus is on the big picture (e.g., being active everyday, eating well) rather than religiously following specific plans/guidelines. And... I feel so much happier.

- Dani

the journey so far

I've been a little delayed in getting this blog up but I have been keeping track of my 12wbt progress so far through instagram and twitter. So here is a quick recap...

Day 1 - After the fitness test I was feeling a little down. It was upsetting and frustrating that I was so unfit. But day 1 helped to lift my spirits. I ate well, enjoyed pushing myself at the gym and finished the night with tea - I never drink tea.

Day 2 - Taking note that organisation is a key to success, I prepared the Roast Pumpkin and Garlic soup on the weekend. Unfortunately quite a few of the recipes in the 12wbt nutrition plans take some time to prepare and cook. As I often have to work late, sometimes unexpectedly, I figured I may as well get prepared whenever I find the time.

I had never made pumpkin soup before. I rarely make soup. And I didn't have a stick mixer. But I compromised using a blender and the dish was a success. Most importantly though - it was delicious.

After posting a picture of my delicious soup on instagram, I noticed a few comments from other 12wbters. "Mine turned out green!" said one person. "So did mine!" said another.

I was so confused. Did they add a bunch of fresh herbs? Can pumpkin turn green in certain situations? (No, I'm not blonde.) Then it hit me. Leek! Not everyone knows that there are 'rules' when cooking with leek. I don't even know how I knew there were rules, I never cook with leek.

So here's a tip for anyone cooking with leek...

• Cut the leek just before it turns from bright green to dark green
• Discard the dark green section (you can use this section to make stock though)
• Cut off the bottom tips with the roots too
• Next you need to get the dirt out of the leek. People use different methods for this but it is easiest to halve or quarter the leeks lengthwise, put them in a container of cold water (being cold is important) and agitate the leeks to loosen up the dirt.
• Rinse the leek strips to ensure all the dirt is removed
• Dry on paper towel and then prepare as desired

After day 2, the rest of week 1 got a bit out of hand. I didn't do all the workouts. I didn't stick to the nutrition plan.

the beginning

Hello, I'm a 26 year old living in Melbourne, working in the CBD and dabbling in a few other things (e.g., blogging, tweeting). Oh and I'm trying to change my life.

About a month ago, after a fairly intense period at work, I realised that my life wasn't particularly balanced. I was prepared to dedicate 110% of myself to work and yet I wasn't doing the same for other areas of my life - especially my health and fitness. In fact, throughout my life I have often devoted most of myself to one or two areas and completely neglected the rest.

I might have indulged in a tad too much on alcohol in the past

This is also not the first time I have focused on my fitness. In my childhood, up 'til I was 21 really, I was a very dedicated sportswoman. Two years ago I ran in the Run Melbourne 10km event - I actually did it. But during all that time I was focusing on my fitness rather than my health and well-being.

Can you spot me?

This time I'm taking a more holistic approach. I'm hoping to be a healthier, fitter, friendly, happier version of myself. A good daughter, partner, employee and friend. I will take pride in what I eat, how I look and how I act. It has been easy to say "I don't care", but I should care - this is my life, this is me.

Self explanatory really

So before I start preaching and singing Gospel (it is so easy to get carried away), here are my goals...

• Lose 20kg (while I don't like to focus on weight, this is a bit of a necessity)
• Run 3km comfortably
• Participate in gym classes with ease (this is both a physical and psychological battle)
• Reduce the portion sizes of my lunch and dinner
• Eat breakfast!
• Get my car serviced (it might not seem relevant, but it is part of me being devoted to every area of my life)
• Feel comfortable in bathers (please note I have written 'feel comfortable', I know I'm no Miranda Kerr)
• Change the way I think - I want to think fit and healthy

And yes, I am writing a blog about finding the right balance in life and a blog about dining out. I'm hoping to keep both blogs alive and that my new-found balance will give my food blog a healthy twist.


- Dani