a weighty issue

I always get sucked into reading people's comments on news articles, I just can't help it. Often these opinions make we squirm in my chair. "How can people think like this?" I wonder. But I never do anything about it.

Today is different though, today I want to share my opinion.

James Adonis' article in The Age delves into the impact of our ever increasing waistlines on workplaces, based on a report by Deloitte.

But it's not the article I want to respond to, it's the comments. As with any article about obesity there tend to be two major types of responders:

• The fatty-haters that seem to think fat people are lazy, stupid and disgusting
• The fatty-sympathisers that often make excuses for our current trend of constant expansion

Obviously there are responses that don't fit into these two categories, but you get the gist.

Now I'm not going to make excuses about being fat. Yes, sometimes working a 12-14 hour day does stop me from exercising. Yes, sometimes the unhealthy food in the office kitchen does tempt me. But it is my choice to do this job, if I wanted a job that was more flexible or demanded fewer hours, I could probably find one. And no one forces a Freddo into my mouth, I make the choice to eat it. (Although an office fruit bowl could offer a sweet alternative - hint hint.)

But... contrary to popular belief, not all fat people are stupid or uneducated or "unable to be educated". And some of us are well aware that 1kg of broccoli costs less than a bucket of KFC. And! Can you really generalise that a fat person is lazy purely because they are fat?

I am not proud of the situation I am in with my weight, but I am proud of almost everything else about my life. My weight is only one factor that determines who I am. Being 88kg and 164cm, I am technically obese, but I am also much more than that.

There are three big things the "fatty-haters" keep bringing to the forum that really bothers me.
1. Fat people are disgusting
2. Fat people are lazy
3. Fat people are stupid

Firstly, if you are disgusted by fat people, it is you who has a problem not the fat person. You can be concerned about the health and well-being of a fat person, though that can seem condescending, but you shouldn't be disgusted by them. Being disgusted by fat people (or disabled people or people with physical abnormalities) is completely superficial. So as I said before, you are the problem not the fat person.

Also, why do you let it bother you? I personally don't like tattoos and I think a lot of people will regret them in the future, but I am not disgusted by someone because they have chosen to ink their body.

But there are disgusting people out there. Do you know who is disgusting? Men who treat women like a punching bag. Paedophiles. And Collingwood supporters - ok that one is a joke. But you get the point. People should be judged by their actions, not their looks.

Now I can see why people might assume that fat people are lazy, but let's be honest, it is all about priorities. If I am hungry and there is no food in the house, I am not a lazy person, I am a determined person who is going to leave the house to get food.

You couldn't even generalise that all fat people are physically lazy, as there are an abundance of fatties out there that are more active than their thinner counterparts. So it really does come down to balance and priorities. At some point a fat person has ingested more energy-laden food than they have burned, and they haven't done the reverse.

Ah, now the last point is the toughest one for me personally, because a little part of me thinks that I am stupid. (Yes stupid, but not uneducated or unintelligent). Because I have all the knowledge I need to lose weight. In fact, I had this knowledge before I gained the weight. But I have continued behavioural patterns that encourage weight gain. (It does seem a little stupid.)

So this issue doesn't seem to be about smarts so much as it is about capability. Knowledge is only half the battle, you need this willpower to put it all into practice.

Lastly, I know that a lot of these commenters' views are often based on prejudice but there is also some truth to them. Some fat people are lazy and some might be stupid. The same could be said of nearly any subsection of the population. And the statistics might even support these views. But how is that going to help anyone?

So, to the all the fatty-haters and concerned friends/family, thank you for noticing us but your criticism is not very helpful. Here are some suggestions to turn your negative views and concerned thoughts into useful actions.

• Dine together at restaurants or cafes with predominantly healthy options
• Instead of catching up over coffee suggest a walk in the Botanical Gardens
• Don't focus on physical attributes - yours, theirs or anyone else's (we all need to feel more comfortable in our bodies - one of the biggest issues I deal with is constantly feeling uncomfortable in my body, especially during exercise - our bodies are amazing and useful (no matter their size) and should be treated as such)
• Start a social sport team and ask all your friends to join
• Be less obvious - this applies to both disgust and concern - constantly telling someone how concerned you are about their weight really doesn't help
• Focus on the positives - we all have skills and talents, and these should be recognised

Please note that I think people should strive to maintain a healthy body and that being fat shouldn't be considered the 'norm'. But there are plenty of things worse than being fat - let's get some perspective people.

- Dani

time out

Hello to anyone still out there, I am amazed you have stuck around.

I'm writing to let you know that I am feeling very little love for this blog at the moment. Writing about what I eat and when I exercise has started to feel trivial.

It's pretty easy to eat healthier and exercise regularly, but alas I have failed to make these changes. Whether I achieved this or not though, it doesn't deserve front page news. So why should I dedicate a blog to it?

I thought a blog might be a way to motivate myself, to be accountable. But instead of being a motivator, it has often left me angry and frustrated, particularly when I haven't achieved my goals. And when you are the ultimate editor, it's too easy to leave out the 'naughty' behaviours.

In fact, I am currently at my heaviest weight ever. That's pretty conclusive evidence that this blog has not contributed to me achieving my healthy and fitness goals. Now obviously I'm not blaming the blog for gaining weight, that is entirely my fault, but the blog hasn't been a useful tool in helping me to steer myself in a different direction.

So, where does this leave us? My Instagram account will still heavily feature fitness and food related pics and I will probably still write a post every now and then, but it won't be exclusively about health and fitness. Often I feel the need to share my thoughts or opinions about a number of issues, so they'll probably feature a little more often.

I hope you've enjoyed sharing this journey with me, but for now I'll say "see ya later". It's time for a time out.

- Dani

rice paper rolls

Um... why didn't anyone tell me that making your own rice paper rolls is WAY better than buying them?

Ok, some of you probably did tell me that and thanks to an impromptu Asian supermarket trip with my sister, I finally made them!

Delicious and light, rice paper rolls will be a regular feature during lunch from now on. Oh and the best thing about making your own, is that YOU choose the ingredients. I know... it's amazing!

- Dani

mini veg frittatas

I recently rediscovered my food processor, and I have to admit, I'm in love.

It can slice, grate, chop... tuck me in bed at night. Ha! Ok, not quite. But it does a lot and what is there not to love about that.

So what to do about my new found love? Get slicing and grating, of course!

Mini veg frittatas
Serves 6

Ingredients
1 carrot, grated
1 zucchini, grated
1/2 brown onion, grated
3 eggs
25g cheese (parmesan, cheddar, ricotta... whatever suits you)
Optional - I added chilli, but you can add herbs instead, just something for a touch more flavour

Method
1. Pre-heat oven to 180 degrees Celsius and line a 6 hole muffin pan with paper cases.
2. Cook grated carrot, zucchini and onion (and optional chilli/herbs) in a fry pan for 5-10 minutes until the vegetables soften. (Note - you might want to add some water to assist this process)
3. Lightly whisk three eggs in a bowl and add cooked vegetables.
4. Divide egg and veg mixture evenly between paper cases and sprinkle cheese on top.
5. Bake in oven for approximately 10-15 minutes.

You can serve immediately, keep as a great snack or even a quick breakfast. And you don't need to stick to the recipe, you can use any mix of veggies! (Although I personally love the texture of the shredded carrot and zucchini.)

I used cheddar and chilli in this batch, so each mini frittatas was approx 70 calories.

- Dani

learn your macros

I know this post is going to have about... 0% impact on this problem, but I might feel just a little bit better if I get this off my chest.

Please people, do not use the word "carbs" generically. 

There are three primary macronutrients: protein, fat and carbohydrates. These are the basic building blocks of all food.

Macronutrients can be further categorised, for example, the two main forms of carbohydrates are sugars and starches. (There is, of course, more molecular detail you could delve into, but for the purpose of this argument I'm keeping it simple.)

So when anyone posts a picture of vegetables and says that they are having a "no carbs day", they are lying. While vegetables are a mix of carbohydrates, fat and protein, from a nutritional perspective, they are predominantly carbohydrates - all of them.

Furthermore, perpetuating the idea that one macro should be removed from your diet completely is ridiculous. We all need a combination of all three.

Rant over.

If want to learn a bit more about carbohydrate intake (specifically for athletes) - read this.

(I do not endorse a low-carb diet, but if you want 'low-carb' veggies, choose ones with a high water content.)

- Dani

matters of the mind and the heart

As I have mentioned on Instagram (@withaflugelhorn), mental health is just as important as physical health. So here is a little piece I have written for those that might be facing a few personal challenges in the romance department.

Matters of the mind and the heart are often very complicated. It's part of what makes us human.

Of course I am talking about the metaphorical heart, our 'emotional centre', not the cardiac organ beating within our chest.

While logic might dictate one pathway, often our emotions lead us down another. This seems most common in the pursuit of romantic love, although platonic love (the love we have for our family, etc) can also lead us astray.

But let's face it, a world completely dictated by logic would be fairly dull. The arts would surely be less captivating. I cannot imagine Shakespeare's plays would have had quite the same effect. And without his many mistresses, would Picasso have still created such memorable paintings?

Most TV series rely on a heavy dose of emotion and drama. And it is pretty hard to find a pop song that doesn't have some reference to love, loss or heartache.

Admittedly, knowledge that emotions and love are an integral part of our lives doesn't necessarily help us when things go awry.

So what should we do when issues arise or when someone we thought we'd spend the rest of our lives with, turns out to be a total douche?

Here are a few suggestions...

• Remember that there is nothing wrong with you. These types of things happen to lots of people, for any number of reasons.
• It's ok to be upset. People seem to have forgotten that we can't always be happy. So let yourself be upset for a while, just don't let it overrun your life.
• Talk to others, especially those that know you best. Not only can it help to talk to someone else, to formulate and articulate your ideas and feelings, it can help you gain an outsiders perspective and maybe even some advice.
  (Please note - if you don't feel that you have anyone talk to, there are a number of telephone and online counselling providers out there.)
• Don't act out on your anger or frustration. You might feel like a raging bull, but don't let yourself do anything that you would regret later.
• Remember to learn from this experience. One of the many wonderful things about being human is that we can learn from our experiences (whether they are mistakes or not).
• Focus on the positive relationships in your life. Don't let one bad relationship poison the rest.
• As difficult as it might be, keep yourself busy. While you might want to take time off work or study, it is best to continue your regular activities, and being busy can help you take you mind off everything else.
• Depending on the situation - talk to your partner. If you are experiencing a problem in your relationship that could be fixed or resolved, then it is important to communicate this. (Remember that your significant other is not a mind reader.) You never know, together you could find a solution.

Obviously, the ultimate goal is continue living a varied and wonderful life. But this is harder for some of us.

One thing that I learnt during my psych days at uni, and that I still use as an indicator today, is to ask myself 'Am I functioning as contributing member of society?'.

If you are in such a position that you can't go to work or look after your kids or feed/clean yourself, then your answer would be 'no' and thus you should seek additional help.

For a lot of us though, our answer would be 'yes' as we can continue to do all those things. And as with the good times, we acknowledge that bad times are part of the colourful and sometimes unpredictable mosaic of life.

I am no history buff, but I can assure you that without mistakes and setbacks, we would not have learned, nor progressed, as much as we have. So consider this part of your evolution.

- Dani

relax

Oh what a lovely long weekend... Forgive me if I get lost in dreamy thoughts while writing this post.

In a nut shell: 3 days, no work, lots of sunshine, plenty of rest.

I spent the weekend at Blairgowrie, down on the Mornington Peninsula, with Dan and Maple (Dan's dog). We explored the bay and the back beach, and even a few of the shops near by. We had time to read, sleep-in and muck around. It was amazing.

I tend to use holidays as a chance to explore the world and do/see as much as possible. While this is a fantastic way to make the most of each holiday, it can be exhausting. This mini trip helped me to realise how important it is to relax every now and then.

The benefits of relaxation are plentiful, from physical to mental health benefits, and a lack a relaxation can lead to undue stress, which has been extensively linked to poor health outcomes.

While we obviously can't arrange a long weekend for ourselves whenever we need to wind down, learning how to relax or engaging in relaxing behaviour on a regular basis is a key to healthy living. For some people a gym session relieves stress, while others prefer a bubble bath. Whatever it is that relaxes you, make the time to do it at least once this week.

In the words of Jackie Chan, "Sometimes I do need to go to karaoke, sometimes I need to relax."

- Dani

a good (re)start

Well, it has been a good start to the week, particularly on the health front. I have been eating clean, healthy food, without over indulging. Surprise, surprise... planning/being prepared seems to be a key element in this success.

Warm chicken quinoa salad with chilli zucchini and garlic broccoli (I just use whatever greens I have in the house at the time) has to be one of my all time favourite meals. (Thanks Heidi! Get the recipe here.)

Even something as simple a freshly chopped pineapple for breakfast, has helped me feel healthier and energised. (And feeling more energised is big thing for me.)

Dan has also been putting his inner chef to work and created a delicious, mostly healthy, Caesar salad.

After my recent hiatus at the gym, I can't believe that I am actually smashing out gym sessions. My overall endurance has definitely decreased, but my strength and my determination don't seem to have dwindled. I even managed a personal best on the rowing ergo yesterday.

But all is not perfect. I had a can of Coke Zero yesterday and after my gym session on Monday night I had the appetite of an animal preparing for hibernation. Though I still managed to eat decent food, it was a much larger meal than I should've eaten.

As previously mentioned, I am currently researching why people overeat and choose the 'wrong' food.

In particular, I am always baffled as to why I crave pizza when I know I enjoy eating a roast veg salad more. It doesn't seem to matter how much beautiful, healthy, fresh food I prepare, I still crave junk food. And I'm sure I am not alone in this.

Regardless, there is no magic pill that will change my attitude towards food - and even if there was, I wouldn't want to take it - I am determined to make these changes on my own. I just need a way to ensure I keep on making these changes. Hmm, if only it was that easy.

- Dani

slowly, slowly

Did you know that I've been to the Himalayas?

I climbed to Annapurna base camp, which is 4130m above see level. The entire trek, all two weeks of it, was one of the hardest but most rewarding things I have ever done. By the time we flew out of Jomsom, my legs we constantly aching, my bowels were exhausted but my sense of accomplishment had never been greater.

I wasn't the fittest person when I did this trek, furthermore I have exercise induced asthma. So as you might imagine, I often ended up at the back of the group with the Sherpa (Dawa) and his constantly reassuring words - "slowly, slowly".

Though I'm not climbing a mountain now, these two journeys (the trek and my transformation journey) have many parallels... and Dawa's advice still rings true.

Lately, I have eaten badly, drunk less water (but more alcohol/soft drink) and reduced my level of activity. I haven't been transforming, I am regressing.

As you might have gathered from my previous post, this is frustrating me. But guess what? I still made poor choices even after that post. Rather than continue the cycle of good behaviour, then bad behaviour, then frustration, followed by hopelessness. I'm trying to focus on progressing consistently, even if it is slowly, slowly - making better choices as often as possible.

So I've starting looking into overeating and compulsive eating. Just to see if any insights there might help me. I love research and education. And although I already know a bit about health, exercise, the body and the mind, it never hurts to learn more.

Now I have two books to read: The End of Overeating (by David Kessler) and The Headspace Diet (by Andy Puddicombe), and there is plenty more research to do.

I'm not looking for a diet or a quick fix, I guess I'm just looking for something that will help everything 'click'. I know there is a healthier version of me, I just haven't had to determination to become her yet.

Anyways, I will let you know what I uncover.

- Dani

it's easy to smile when you're winning

The post holiday blues might be setting in now. It has taken over two weeks, which seems a bit long to me, but it was bound to happen as some point.

Between my fragile emotional state, my weary body (seriously when did everything start aching?) and an abundance of work, this round of 12wbt is most definitely not going to end with a bang. (In fact I think I've started gaining weight again.)

It was easy to be positive and full of energy when I was seeing great results, but as soon as the tables turn, it becomes much harder to stick with the strategy. So, I will admit it... I've been very slack the past two weeks. With each weigh-in and every time I look at my body in the mirror, my will seems to diminish. I'm thinking... no moping, rather than doing.

Without the forced gym junkie and health guru regiment, I still make healthier choices more than I did pre-12wbt. I am even choosing to go for a run not because the plan says so, but because I (kinda) enjoy it.

But is this good enough? No.

Am I unhappy with my body and my level of fitness? Hell yeah!

Of course I would love to be happy in my own body, blah blah blah. But the reason this disappointment is so significant is that it means that I care. I care about my body, about my health. Hell yes, I care!

So now I have confirmation - I am completely controlled by my emotions/mood... and it has to stop. A shitty day at work does not give me the right to stuff my face with calorie-laden food. In fact the whole logic is backwards. My body and brain have clearly already suffered enough after a tough day, I should be rewarding myself by looking after them.

It is easy to dispense these words, now I need to put this theory into action. So I'm creating a little project for myself, I'm calling it Project 'Mood Buster'. When I'm exhausted or feeling emotional, even cranky, I'm going to try to reward/improve myself with non-food actions/activities.

For example, "It's been a tough week, I deserve a few Friday drinks" will become "It's been a tough week, I deserve a massage" or "It's been a tough week, I deserve a bubble bath".

Or when a mood strikes, "All I want to do is curl in a ball and cry" will become "I'm feeling really crappy, maybe a walk/comedy gig/bike ride with a friend will cheer me up".

Sometimes, when the pressure is on at work, the first thing I do is head for the lolly jar. This is probably going to be the hardest behaviour to crack. My current thinking is that if time permits, I'll try to step outside for a moment instead or make sure I always have healthier snack alternatives at my desk (though this doesn't tend to have the same psychological effect).

This is definitely more an art than a science, but it might provide some real benefits long-term.

And if anyone has already found some great mood busting tricks, please feel free to share.

- Dani

everything is falling into place

The last few weeks have been fantastic. I am feeling healthy, happy and almost fit. It is hard to describe how wonderful this feeling is. Furthermore, the bonds with my family and boyfriend have strengthened. My work is constantly challenging and encouraging me. To be honest, life couldn't get much better.

This transformation started after I realised how unbalanced my life was. I'd put on a bit more weight and I was working some pretty long hours at the time. Then I had the thought "If I'm prepared to work this hard in one area of my life, why don't I put in half as much effort into other areas of my life?". At this point, I decided to join the Michelle Bridges 12 week transformation and thus my journey began.

It certainly hasn't been a smooth journey. There have been good weeks and bad weeks. Positive moments and moments of sheer hopelessness. I can honestly say that acknowledging my situation, trying to move beyond my weaknesses and flaws, has been one of the hardest things I have ever done.

People often make excuses because they don't want to take accountability for their actions (or in-action). But I didn't just make excuses, I didn't care. By not caring, I was happy, but my body wasn't.

This body is the only one I've got and I'm going to have it my whole life. And I have treated it so poorly.

When I realised this and realised the behavioural issues ingrained in me that perpetuate this mistreatment, I felt totally shattered. Here I was thinking that I am a capable, dedicated, smart individual, but I couldn't do something as simple as keep my body in good shape. Needless to say, this self-reflection resulted in a lot of tears.

Out of the tears and reflection came something wonderful - knowledge and resolve. I was learning, learning about myself, learning about what I needed to do to get out of this situation. Now by no means am I now a guru on health and fitness, my mind still craves all sorts of things when I know I'd actually prefer something else, but I am better. And I will never stop learning, nor will I want to go through that process again.

Now I'm under 80kg, a milestone I thought I'd reach weeks ago, but I am thrilled regardless. My body shape is different and I am loving it. My attitude has changed, and is continuing to change. Everything has well and truly fallen into place.

This brings me to the main point of this post, and it is a point I'm sure I will need to tell myself time and time again. I also hope it might help just one other person out there.

Don't give up.

Every small improvement you make, even if it isn't a permanent one, will help you. Every over-indulgent snack you turn down, every extra step you take. All of it is worth it. And this applies to anything you want to achieve in life. It might not be the fastest way to reach your goals, but you will make progress.

In a previous post, when I was in struggle-town, I wrote this -

I might be able to make this transformation step-by-fricken-tiny-step. But I have to keep trying. Because even though I'm no where near my goals, I am closer than when I started. I might never have a light bulb moment, but I never want to give up.

And it is so true. I think that this realisation really helped to turn things around for me. I stopped focusing on achieving the perfect transformation, stopped comparing myself to other 12wbters with phenomenal will-power.

So yes, there are crazy, amazing, inspiring people out there who can lose 20kg in 3 months or transition from being a couch potato to a marathon runner. But the people who get on with their lives and make small changes every day, those people are inspiring too.

- Dani

thank you

Work is over for the year. Family shenanigans in Singapore are well underway. 2013 is just around the corner.

But what a year it has been! 2012 has been a year of progress for me. I have made changes to improve the balance in my life. Health and fitness are now firm priorities. Work has been challenging and rewarding, and I'm loving it. My wonderful boyfriend and I moved in together. I have been fortunate enough to travel domestically and internationally. (But I certainly wouldn't complain about the opportunity to travel more.) In all honesty, I have had a fantastic year. There are still so many things I need to work on, but I'm sure I will never stop striving to better myself.

Lately the topics of honesty and openness have been bandied around. While I can be known to keep my cards close, I believe that I am honest and open when appropriately engaged. This year I have shared my thoughts, feelings and experiences through two blogs - openly and honestly. Writing about my struggles with weight loss has been a truly difficult, occasionally frustrating, but overall thought provoking experience.

The support I have received from people in the 12wbt, blog and instagram community has been overwhelming. I cannot thank you all enough. Every comment, like, response, hug, pat on the back has been cherished.

Thank you!

And have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

- Dani

quick update

Olla! Oh what a slack little bunny I've been. I haven't had much time for blog-lovin lately. (Sorry.) So here is a quick update.

The nutrition plan I created for myself was a success and I promise to share more info (including recipes) with you soon.

Despite being the silly season my alcohol consumption has been low and the platters, etc. have been kept to a minimum. Although I do plan to indulge a little during my work Christmas party this week.

While I have been happy with my nutrition of late, the exercise front has faced some serious issues. After a week with the flu, getting back into my usual exercise routine has not been easy. Given that I'm about the leave the country for 3 weeks, I'm going to have to come up with some creative ways to stay motivated. Luckily I'll have more free time.

Yes, I am going to overseas this Saturday! Boy do I feel like I need a holiday. First stop is Singapore, for some much needed family time. Then it is on to Japan for an eye-opening extravaganza.

Fun times ahead!

- Dani

trial run

I'm still sick and the weekend couldn't come any sooner. The plan is to rest, rehydrate and repeat.

It feels weird not exercising or at least not fretting about exercise. But my nutrition has been reasonable and I plan to get very active as soon as possible - body allowing.

In trying to do all I can to ensure I have a stellar week next week, planning is my key focus. And although I am trying to be the queen of positive at the moment, I have to say... I'm not a fan of the 12wbt nutrition plan for Week 4.

As per usual, I printed the weekly nutrition plan with the aim to identify and replace the unsuitable meals (because of intolerance, etc). But this week I wanted to replace 90% of the meals.

Rather than feel disheartened I decided that this was a great opportunity to test my ability to create a wonderfully healthy and nutritious menu on my own.

The 12wbt team can't create my nutrition plans forever, at some point I am going to need to learn to do it all by myself - week 4 is going to be my trial run.

I haven't quite figured it all out yet, but I'll keep you posted.

Have a great weekend!

- Dani

it's all about the lifestyle

I said I'd plan, I said I'd follow through, but... I'm still working on it. My weekend involved unplanned meals, a bit of alcohol and lots of activity. I definitely have a long way to go, but in general, I am leading a more active lifestyle and it is fantastic!

Firstly, I went to a yoga class during lunchtime on Friday. It was tough and I was sweaty. I normally avoid midday classes because it feels inappropriate returning to work looking like a sweaty beetroot. But do you know what? I'm really glad I did it. It wasn't easy - I'm not very good at yoga - but it was a great way to break up my day. 

So I have a new goal - get better at yoga.

I did all of these poses, well I tried to

Saturday morning was stinking hot and I pushed through the Super Saturday Session down by the beach. It was up to 27.5 degrees by the time I left. (Whoa!)

I completed all 4 rounds fairly quickly (and I certainly didn't burn 1000 calories), but I got slower and weaker each time. So I know I have a lot of improving to do.

But my Saturday activities didn't end there...

My girlfriends and I hit up the driving range! And I cannot express enough just how much fun we had. It is amazing how much it works your forearm muscles and you are constantly engaging your core to maintain posture. Of course, constantly laughing at our lack of talent helped too.

A late lunch and few wines later, I found myself at a house party. Dangerous territory. But I took one bottle of cider and when it was finished, that was it. I stopped drinking alcohol for the night. Hallelujah!

Sunday was a little less successful. I planned a fantastic BBQ with lots of great, mostly healthy, salads, etc. But I had a few drinks and probably nibbled a little too much. When there is food around all the time it becomes much harder to monitor intake and know when to stop. Given that it is the season for BBQs though, I guess this is something that I'm just going to have to work on.

Overall it was a great weekend and though I have a few things to work on, things definitely seem to be getting better.

How was your weekend? Any stories to share?

- Dani

happy, healthy, fit

Hello!

12wbt Round 4 has well and truly kicked-off and yes, I have been deviating from the plan. Unlike last round though, this is not freaking me out (and I no longer feel like a failure). I know that I'm still exercising (goddamn intermediate toning sessions are hard) and that my nutrition is ok (but it could be better).

Not 12wbt, but not bad either

The next few months are all about warmer weather, get-togethers and frivolity. So to reach my goals during this hectic time, I am focusing on two things: discipline and positivity.

These would have to be two of my weakest areas - I'm not disciplined (at all) and I'm not a very positive person either. Focusing on my weight and fitness has made me very 'me-centric' and I was often in a state of disappointment.

But this time I'm not going to be disappointed because
1. I will have a plan and I will be organised
2. I will follow through, I will stick to the plan, I will be disciplined (and when the unpredictable occurs, I will make suitable adjustments)
3. I am focusing on the positive elements of my life, elements that don't stimulate stress, elements that are within my immediate control (e.g., I will focus on my improving fitness, I will not stress about how unfit I feel)

And this inspired my new mantra.

Happy. Healthy. Fit.

All of these things are within my control and none of these need to be stressful. I want to be happier, healthier, fitter person. A person that I can be proud of. (And it really shouldn't be that hard.)

At the moment these are just words, but I am putting them into practise. I have already planned my meals and exercise schedule for next week. The shopping list is ready too. I have also adopted a colour system to monitor how well I stick to the plan.

It is no longer about 'I can' or 'I will' do this, but 'I am'... I am doing this! (And you can do it too!)

- Dani

bucket list

As round 3 (2012) of the 12 week body transformation wraps up, it has gotten me thinking about my failures/weaknesses and my successes/strengths.

It will come as no surprise to you all that I have more weaknesses than strengths, definitely more failures than successes.

But all is not lost. While thinking about the hurdles I faced I also started thinking of solutions, one of which is a 'bucket list'. Not just any ordinary bucket list, a bucket list with social activities that are not centred around food or alcohol (crazy!).

So here are some of my ideas so far

• Rock climbing
• Go-kart racing
• Go to the ballet or a show
• Mini-golf (incl glow-in-the-dark mini golf)
• Ice skating
• Walks (e.g., Kokoda Memorial walk, Hanging Rock trail)

I also put the idea out to my friends and... they all love it! They all threw in their own suggestions...

• Bike riding
• 1000 steps
• Golf
• Paintball
• Lawn bowls
• Water sports
• Camping
• No light no lycra
• Craft nights
• Frisbee in the park

Firstly, I am so excited that all my friends are on board with this initiative. And secondly, I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner.

Being fit and healthy doesn't need to be hard work.

Now we just need to make it happen.

- Dani

Oh and... I signed up for Round 4! I wasn't going to, but I think I've made the right decision.

red flag week

I've been feeling a little less social over the past few weeks. I am completely unable to rein myself in when eating and drinking out with friends, so it has been best to avoid those situation. But I can't go on like that forever.

This week I am out almost every night with birthday dinners, comedy nights, cocktail functions, the races, etc. It is a busy time of year and I know that I am failing to stick to the 12wbt plan. I didn't workout on Monday or Tuesday (but I did go for a lunchtime walk) and my diet has been far from ideal.

I know I'm supposed to suck it up, get up early and JFDI. But after a late night, it just doesn't happen. And to be honest, I'm not keen on depriving myself of sleep in order to exercise in the morning. Yes, I can try to get home earlier - but it's not happening this week.

While I am exercising when I can and watching what I eat as much as possible, in these situations I am completely weak - I know this. I ate birthday cake on Monday and I can't imagine not doing that. People have birthdays and people eat cake - I don't want to miss out on these things.

At home I seem able (most of the time) to be the mature adult that understands that I can't have everything I want. When I'm out though, it's all 'I want, I want, I want', and the mature adult doesn't even seem to be in the room.

If willpower really is a muscle, then I'd like to know how I can train it before I am in those situations. Because at the moment, I am feeling horrible, eating out, drinking and not exercising (even though it hasn't really affected my weight loss - which is even more annoying). Eating out is inevitable but I should be able to choose the healthiest option on the menu, say no say to that glass of wine with dinner and get up early the next morning to exercise. Shouldn't I? But I can't imagine ever not wanting the wine, not wanting the creamy risotto, not wanting to sleep in. And when I do say no to those things I tend to get a bit sulky and I don't enjoy the moment as much. (If you haven't guessed by now, I really hate being told I can't have something.)

There must be a balance between living a healthy, active life and engaging in 'normal' activities like eating out and having birthday cake. And I guess the answer is moderation. But as an overweight person, does moderation not apply to some things?

Basically I am feeling pretty weak and pathetic right now. My lack of willpower has been a huge barrier for me over the past few years, but I really thought that this time I was going to break through...

- Dani

big in Japan

Throughout the last 8 weeks I have changed a lot... but not as much as I'd like. I clearly have a long way to go before I can claim that I think fit and healthy.

This has gotten me thinking about whether I'll sign up for the next round of the 12 week body transformation. At the moment, I'm thinking that I will skip the next round, but sign up for the first round in 2013. Why? Because 1. I need to start doing these things for myself, not because a program tells me to and 2. I'm going to Japan in January.

As you may or may not know, people in Japan are very small and I'm not just talking about height. Morning exercise is part of almost everyone's routine and the government has even imposed waistline standards. So... I'm going to be big in Japan - physically.

I figure that between the 12wbt (and the finale), summer looming around the corner, seeing my family at Christmas and heading to Japan for new years, I have more motivational factors than anyone could ever need. If I don't seriously lose some weight now, then I don't know when I ever will.

So now I feel positive and confident knowing that I have 4 weeks of 12wbt and 'Project Japan' to keep me going through to the end of the year.

I also tried on some dresses today (maybe with the finale in mind) and though I was very hesitant about trying on a size 12 dress, it fit! It didn't look great, it did nothing for my shape, but it fit. Just another reason to smile and keep losing weight!

- Dani